How do we respond in the Wilderness?

As I read God's Word now, I read it from a different perspective, and prayerfully ask the Spirit of God to open up my eyes. It has been amazing, and heart wrenching at the same time. When you go through seminary (not that I am speaking from my own experience :), they teach you that there are two ways we look at God's Word, isogesis and exogesis. Isogesis is where we have our own thoughts, emotions, and perspective and then we search for the scriptures or read through it to back up what we think or feel. Exogesis is simply reading through the Bible for exactly what it says. Exogesis is the correct way to read through God's Word. Of course, we know that we can't just read it to gain understanding. We need the Spirit of God to illuminate our hearts and our own understanding. John 6:63 says," It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life." God's Word is life. And we must be prayerful when we read it, and have a willing heart to allow the Spirit of God to point out the lies, the blind spots, if you will, of our faith.
And our faith will get tested when we enter the wilderness season in our lives. If you find yourself in the "wilderness" right now, I encourage you to read through Hebrews to see the importance of how we respond in the wilderness. It became very clear for me a while back that my response in the wilderness times of my life had been very wrong. And it was the "wilderness" that revealed what was really in my heart. Read these scripture verses for what they say about the wilderness. Hebrews 3:8 says," Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, (remember the Israelites and their rebellion in the wilderness?) as in the day of testing in the wilderness."
Hebrews 3:17," And with whom was He provoked for forty years (again referring to the Israelites in the wilderness)? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the wilderness."
I Corinthians 10:5, " Nevertheless, with most of them God was not pleased, for they were overthrown in the wilderness."

My heart is SO saddened for those who find themselves in a difficult time of life (the wilderness) and they become bitter and angry. They can't forgive, they can't move forward, and they are angry with God, and some even lose their faith in God. Some may say," You don't understand!" I might not, there are plenty of things that people have gone through that I have not. Yet Christ does. I do not believe that God brings the bad things upon us. Yet I do believe He allows things to happen so that we can see our hearts and know where we are in our faith. Just read through the book of Job. Do you know what God said about Job? Job 1:8 says "There is none like him on earth." Wow! What a compliment coming from the Maker of the universe!! And look at all that happened to him in 1 day!!! And how did he respond? How did his friends respond? Did God bring the calamity upon him? No, but did He allow it? Yes. Why? So Job could see his own human frailty and his desperate need for God. But when we allow our hearts to be hardened in the wilderness, or our faith is overthrown, we find ourselves in a desolate and lonely place. Please allow your hearts to be softened. Seek His face, for who He is, and not His hand, and what He can do for you. We will all find ourselves in the wilderness. Run to the Lord. Please do not run away from Him. Please read the book of Job and Hebrews. Cry out to the Lord and ask Him to change you and sustain you!!!

Father, help us to run to You and cling to Your Word in all seasons of life. May our faith grow and not be weakened in our painful and desperate times of life. May we always look to You, the author and finisher of our faith. I cry out to You oh God! Deliver those whose hearts have been hardened, strengthen those who have fallen! Have mercy oh Lord on us!

The Dawning of a New Day

When I decided to start this blog, I chose the title "Following Hard" because the things that God was showing me were just that, hard. My life had taken a whole new turn, a different focus. One that was no longer on me. One that meant, no longer trying to prove myself to anyone. ‘Cause let’s be honest with ourselves, when we’re trying to prove ourselves, even in godly ways, we’re asking to be recognized. We’re asking for our names to be known. We’re asking for our own glory. But if we read God's Word, and allow his truth to bring truth to our hearts, we realize that He is supposed to get ALL the glory. Yes... all of it. Isaiah 48:11 says, “For my own sake, for my own sake I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another."
Why? Because He is God. If He isn't worthy of all the glory, then who is? I know I am certainly not worthy. Yes, I am a new creation, clothed in the righteousness of Christ. Yes, I have gifts that God has placed inside of me. But who did ALL the work? He did. So He is worthy of ALL the praise.
It is a constant prayer, a constant surrender that takes place in my heart that says,"It's not about me Lord, help me to focus on You. Whatever way You can be glorified in my life all the more, let it be so. Take my weaknesses; let them bring all the more praise and glory to your name."
Whatever dreams you may have, even if you believe with everything wit in you that they are God given, lay them down before Him. Pray it again and again and again, "Not my will Lord, but Your will be done in my life. If it truly is God given, He will give it back. If it is not, as painful as it may be, He will give you a new purpose, a new mission that will bring glory to His name, it may be painful or hard at first, but I promise you that it will bring more fulfillment than living a life to bring glory to yourself. Or maybe you are like me, the purpose that I felt God had for my life was refined. It was very similar, but now, there is less of me, less glory for myself, more glory for Him. It is hard though. So many questions come up like, "How am I to do this? Is this safe? What about my family? How is this going to work?" --- Now I am not saying I know everything that is going to happen, not at all. But through this REALLY LETTING GO and surrendering, He is revealing Himself to me more and more, stirring up the passion and compassion. The rays of His light are shining forth in the unknown darkness of my heart. I love Him more. I love others more.
I praise God for this dawning of a new day, a beginning of a new season of my life. Now it is no longer "Following Hard", but "Remember to Surrender" each and every day.

Almost There!

I really can't believe it. I feel like I am going to awaken from this dream. Adam is just one week away from graduating Asbury Seminary! Tears fill my eyes right now as I write this. There have been many sleepless nights in prayer worried about him, because he had been up over 48hrs., drove to Orland0, sat in class all day, and then drove home. Not to mention working late nights with his events only to return home to more work with school.
Adam does not like me to brag at all about him. In fact, when I started the whole blogging thing he said to me, "Please just don't make it a brag blog." But I want to be truthful. And I want to remember his perservearence and endurance. He had many sleepless nights or weeks, even months together and he remained calm. He didn't yell or have outburts letting out his frustration on me as his wife or his children. He finished a hundred pages of really important papers in two weeks time, preached sermons, volunteered for numerous things, continued steadily through his not so regular hours job, and still helped me when he could.
Not to mention the three times equaling three months our family had been displaced due to mold in our home. He's tackled school through MANY sinus infections, bronchitus, and the flu (2 times)~~ thanks to his great boss for letting him stay at his house so the rest of the family didn't go down with him. I mean really, I look back and think,"How in the world did he do it?"
But we both know that God has carried us through... all of it. Even when the storms seemed to surround us on every side, He has always been there. And I now realize more than ever that with every trial, God can really use it to grow us, if we let Him.
This past year has been the hardest to say the least. He has crammed two years into one, maybe even two and a half, by taking 5 classes each semester. We have not had much time at all together. Many boring weekends, well not the cool family time that most people get on a Saturday and Sunday.
But Adam and I would both tell you that this year we feel the closest even though we have spent the least amount of time together. And that is because we have really zeroed in on our relationship with the Lord. We are allowing Him to change us personally rather than asking Him to change the other. The whole church plant thing has really brought us closer too. It's so neat that when we are able to talk together, we realize that God is speaking( or rather were hearing :) the same thing to us about the vision for the church in Richmond Hill. And this just makes me feel all the more excited!
I love him SO MUCH! And I am so proud of him! I have never known anyone to work so well under pressure and still be likeable :) He's amazing and humble ( which is what made this girl fall head over heels in love for the first and last time) he's my husband, and the father of my three sweet children. Now please pass on some tissue to this girl, because I am going to cry like a baby next Saturday when he gets his Masters degree!

I Timothy 3 1-3
The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of an overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife (you know it! ;) soberminded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

He Is The Only Way

This week I was reading the Easter Story to the kids and I honestly wept. Not just at the fact of all the pain Jesus went through, nailed to the cross. Not just at the fact that I have been redeemed, forgiven, made clean and whole by His priceless blood.
But I wept at the end of the story and told Noah and Myah that the story doesn't end here. There is more to this whole Easter thing than the death and resurrection of Jesus. Jesus is coming back! In some ways my heart longs for this! And in some ways my heart does not, for there are SO MANY who are lost and with out Jesus!
Here is something to reflect on this God Given Friday, an excerpt from Radical by David Platt.

"Our understanding of who God is and who we are drastically affects our understanding of who Christ is and why we need him. For example, if God is only a loving Father who wants to help his people, then we will see Christ as a mere example of that love.We will view the cross as just a demonstration of God's love in which He allowed Roman soldiers to crucify his Son so that the sinful man would know how much he loves us. But this picture of Christ and the Cross is woefully inadequate, missing the entire point of the gospel. We are not saved from our sins because He was falsely tried by Jewish and Roman officials and sentenced by Pilate to die. Neither are we saved because Roman persecutors thrust nails into the hands and feet of Christ and hung him on a cross. Do we really think that the false judgement of men heaped upon Christ would pay for the debt for all of humankind's sin? Do we really think that a crown of thorns and whips and nails and a wooden cross and all the other facets that of the crucifixion that we glamorize are powerful enough to save us? Picture Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. As He kneels before His Father, drops of sweat and blood fall together from his head. Why is he in such agony and pain?The answer is not because he was afraid of crucifixion. He is not trembling because of what the Roman soldiers are about to do to him. Since that day countless men and women in the history of Christianity have died for their faith. Some of them were not just hung on crosses; they were burned there. Many of them went to their crosses singing. One Christian in India, while being skinned alive, looked at his persecutors and said,' I thank you for this. Tear off my old garment, for I will soon put on Christ's garment of righteousness. As he prepared to head to his execution, Christopher Love wrote a note to his wife, saying,' Today they will sever me from my physical head, but they cannot sever me from my spiritual head, Christ.' As he walked to his death, his wife applauded while he sang of glory.
Did these men and women in Christian history have more courage than Christ himself? Why was he trembling in that garden, weeping and full of anguish? We can rest assured that he was not a coward about to face Roman soldiers. Instead he was a Savior about to endure divine wrath. Listen to His words:' My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. The "cup" is not a reference to a wooden cross; it is a reference to divine judgment. It is the cup of God's wrath. This is what Jesus is recoiling from in the garden. All God's holy wrath and hatred toward sin and sinners, stored up since the beginning of the world, is about to be poured out on him, and he is sweating blood at the thought of it. What happened at the Cross was not primarily about nails being thrust into Jesus' hands and feet but about the wrath due your sin and my sin being thrust upon his soul. In that holy moment, all righteous wrath and justice of God due us came rushing down like a torrent on Christ himself. Some say, " God looked down and could not bear to see the suffering that the soldiers were inflicting upon Jesus, so he turned away." But this is not true. God turned away because he could not bear to see your sin and my sin on His Son. One preacher described it as if you and I were standing a short hundred yards away from a dam of water ten thousand miles high and ten thousand miles wide. All of a sudden that dam was breached, and a torrential flood of water came crashing toward us. Right before it reached our feet. the ground in front of us opened up and swallowed it all. At the Cross, Christ drank the full cup of the wrath of God, and when he had downed the last drop, he turned the cup over and said," It is finished."
This is the gospel. The just and loving Creator of the universe has looked upon hopelessly sinful people and sent his Son, God in the flesh, to bear his wrath against sin on the cross and to show his power over sin in the Resurrection so that all who trust in Him will be reconciled to God forever."


Thank you Father for your GREAT MERCY AND GRACE. May we remember, not just this Easter season, but everyday what You have done for us. Amen.

Transformation and Growth

I had written this quote down in a notebook some time ago, and I had wished I had written who wrote it. Anyways, it encouraged me today and maybe it will encourage someone else too. We must not forget how life transforming God's Word is!!!
~If you see it as the vessel that holds the deep mysteries of God, the key that opens life's secret ways, it will have amazing transforming power. The Word of God could do no less! It breathes life into dead souls and causes all that was stale and stagnant with in us to flourish.~
It's easy to look at God's Word and want it to change our circumstances. It's easy to look at God's Word and want it to change someone else. But how many times do we actually read it to change "us". Not a mental ascent, as if we think so are we, but a true life change from the inside out. We must surrender our hearts to the Lord and His Spirit, for it is He that brings about the transformation in our lives. It's silly to think we make a checklist, apply certain steps, and voila were there! It's foolish to think that we take a lot of human philosophy and a little of God's Word mixed in, and think that we will bring about a lasting change in our lives!
God's Word is living and active and sharper than a two edged sword, and it discerns the thoughts and intentions of the heart (Hebrews 4:12) . God's Word cuts straight to the root of any issue in our lives! Why try to peel back the layers in our heart when His Word cuts straight through our hearts!!! His Word will show us our selfishness, jealousy, pride, bitterness, and blindness of our own souls! His Word will pour out an unconditional love that heals the, spirit, soul and body. What else could do that or who else!?!?!?

Father, please create in me a deep deep hunger for Your Word. May Your Spirit open up my eyes as I read it. May Your Spirit bring about transformation in me. May my life reflect You and Your Word.

Falling In Love

I heard a great message, from my pastor Jay Hanson, about climbing into love. He spoke about relationships, and how we have to work at them. Relationships, real lasting relationships, take a lot of work. I loved the points that he brought up in this, and understood how I could apply them in my own life. He also compared this to our relationship with Christ.
Yet lately, I feel like I am falling in love with my Maker. And by falling, I mean surrendering. It is in loosing control of my life to the Lord, that I gain life! Matthew 16:25 says," For whoever would save his life will loose it, but whoever looses his life for My sake will find it."It is in the letting go of what people think about me, not wanting to make a name for myself, laying down the expectations of what I think my life should look like and the expectations of others, that I have found such freedom and life! The more I surrender to Him, the more I let go of that which seems to have become or hold more importance than Him, the more love I have for Him! And the more love I have for Him, the more love I have for others.
John 3:30 says," He must increase, but I must decrease."
It is in our surrendering, letting go of, decreasing of ourselves, and allowing the Holy Spirit to increase in our lives, that brings about a love for Christ that is unwavering. Only Christ and His Spirit can work this in us and through us. Yet we must surrender ourselves, and humble ourselves before Him. James 4:10 says," Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you." Don't try to exalt yourself. Don't try to prove to your family, to your friends,to the world that you have what it takes to accomplish whatever dream you have. Remember, it's not about you. The sooner you grasp this concept, the sooner you gain life.You will have true joy that remains through the storms of life, and a purpose that is only to exalt the Lord our God !

Father, thank you for the grace of Your Spirit that is at work in my life. May You, not I, be lifted up and exalted through my life. May my heart and spirit surrender do you each day! May I decrease so that Your Spirit can increase!

The Solid Rock

"On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand."I have been singing this hymn joyfully with in my heart the past couple of days. Never has it been more beautiful to me than it is now. Because I feel like God , through His Word, has really shone some light into the darkness of my heart. We say it and sing it all the time,"He is my everything, He is my fulfillment." But how strongly do we really believe it? When disappointment comes, when dreams shatter, when those we love cease to live in this world with us, we question Him. It's completely human I know and I won't dare to say that I haven't ever questioned Him. But do the circumstances in life, whatever happens in our world, change His character? Does it change who He is? I think not!
Think about the hymn," Jesus Paid It All." We sing this part SO loudly, yet we are very quiet at singing "ALL TO HIM I OWE." Something finally clicked with in my spirit whenever I sung this song at a Bible Study one night. I spoke to the Lord and said," You have already given up EVERYTHING for me. Now it is my turn to give up EVERYTHING for you." Hear me out on this. Christ exemplified the greatest sacrifice of love for us at the cross. He is the Rock of our Salvation (Psalm 95:1).Salvation being the deliverance from the power of sin and death. We have been REDEEMED by the blood of the Lamb. Is that not enough to praise Him? Is that not enough to continue on in serving Him and pouring out our love for Him in the midst of our brokenness and despair? If Christ never answered any of my prayers, His sacrifice alone, and the joy of knowing I have eternal life should be enough.
This does not negate anyone's pain or even my own. And there are so many questions to be read in between these lines. Like the loss of a child, or the lack of and many many more. But God's Word CLEARLY states that we will go through many hardships, trials, and tribulations before entering the kingdom of God (Acts 14:22, James 1:2,I Peter 1:6). Nor does this mean that I stop praying or believing in God to bring forth healing and deliverance.
But I have to stand on this Truth. He is God and will ALWAYS be worthy of my praise in whatever state of life I find my self in. He does not Change. He is the same, yesterday, today, and forever(Hebrews 13:8). I know it is easy to say all of this when life is not so painful. But I must grab a hold of this truth while the sun is shining , so that when the rain comes, this truth holds as an umbrella and a shield through the storm.


Father, may the truth of Your Word and the Love that you have already shown me be so deeply rooted in my heart, that I would never cease to praise you. That I would never cease to pour out my life and my love for you.